Now

The search for some blackwine came with a belief that its heat would dissipate the chill, that it would be the balm for my soul. Instead of savoring that first sip, I found myself entertained by the mirror of the sky swimming across the surface of my brew. I was about to slip over the rim and glide beneath the ripples when I heard the sounds of familiar boot strides behind me. Winds, now I remember what was that I'd forgotten to do this past hand or so. The two kaiila I had meant to return to Fonce. I brought another bowl with me, offering it to him as I settled in around the coals.

We fell into a start – stop staccato of conversation as we unwove the yesterdays since we had last seen each other. In ways, it was as if we had been friends since childhood and were merely playing catch up. In other ways, it was a strangled tension of strangers trying to get past that initial awkwardness. His tentative probing had once been an apprehension for me, wanting to have the right answers, wanting to say the right thing at the right time. Now I settled in to let him pluck as he wished from a platter of facts and feelings of my own choosing. I've become well practiced at keeping emotional and physical distance and plied my newfound talent to the moment. It had nothing to do with present company. I would have no one take any of my actions for anything other than they were intended. His sense of propriety is one of those things I respect of the man and his gift of it during our visit together meant more than he knew.

I moved a little closer only to check his wound. A dying Tuchuk man will swear he is fine and Fonce is no different. It is just their way to scoff at offers of attention. He had been Master, mentor, guardian and friend over time, but at that particular moment, he was just a man. I could see the concern and frustrations of his present. Unable to remember, unable to forget. I almost envy him this. His pain, his nightmares, I would not wish upon him but his cloak of invisibility ... wouldn't it be nice to have a selective one now and then?

For me, I remember there was once a magic between us. Others often disrupted what little time we shared together in the past with more pressing needs so I remember feeling too that he hadn’t heard or hadn’t seen much of the things I'd once said or offered to show him. He surprised me when he spoke of the kaiila and what he calls my gift with them, so I was touched that this was what he could remember of me. I promised to show him what I’ve trained his steeds, when he can sit taller in the saddle.

Silken emerged from the narrow lanes and the whole night seemed to shift and change. There is a side of she and I that very few see, because we do not let our guard down often. Experience has taught us that the hard way. We mean no harm but find laughter the best medicine for just about everything. Over time the fires have died to mere cindered coals of what they once were. There are those that can be merry and bright without consequence and those that heads turn or maybe roll at the first hint of chuckle. Ripples on the surface of the blackwine, I suppose.

Fonce became Silk's prey, poking at his softer underbelly now and then just to watch him squirm. I will admit I had my own swat or two in there but he took it all quite well. There were just too many lines now that I refuse to let my toes cross. They may only be dotted lines but they are still my lines. I was enjoying the light-hearted camaraderie enough to offer to take them both with me to a stash of honeycomb I had found. Honey hunting quickly took on completely new meanings I had not intended. I felt the screech as my toes shoved against the line and could almost watch the sand pile up on them. It was time to exit stage right. An offer of a meal at mine and Ramza's fires was met with appreciation and I left them in each other’s company. It was good to hear them both still laughing as the shadows flowed in around me.