margins of desolation

The tea had begun to be effective within ehns after leaving Silken's wagons. Topics between us are rarely censored to protect emotions. Mine felt raw and abraded. The subject of children had become that way. When those callous enough to ask why Ramza and I did not yet have children, I always defer to my mate. My friend had more tact and let me summon the courage to talk with her openly. Honestly. A healthy woman I have proven to be, a healthy man with healthy appetites he has proven to be as well. Only the healer now knew the rest. When I left the comforts of her wagon, it still felt like scalding water running over exposed nerves. Even when I drifted beyond wakefulness and into my warrior's arms, the womb of his embrace held no safety from his hungers. He took full advantage of my plight.

It all left me in a state of turmoil such that even sweeping the tems of the wagon became intense. A deft stroke of the straw broom across the flooring rasped something metallic, shining and glittering as it skittered over the boards. My earrings. Not one, not two but three of them. Each unmatched. A pearl, a filigree hoop and a jade drop. On my old world, they would have been merely adornments but here .. here they held symbolism that made me shudder to the core. I was about to toss them out the flap never to set eyes on them again when I happened to glance up. On the wagon canvas in front of mine was something I had not seen around the harriga before. It was a curiosity watching the red shouldered herlit merely overlooking his domain. He turned one glossy black eye my way as if he too studied me. I held my chin up in a defiance that was far too out of character for me at the moment.

I was still standing there holding tightly to .. what... ? The broom ...? The earrings ...? Although I was no longer in the cocoon of my Sapphire canvased home. I was in the middle of the kaiila pens with Nuudal asking me if I was alright. The muffle of his voice filtered into my conscious. Was I going to stand there holding what all day? When I looked down I felt a quake of something beyond fear, beyond anger as I tossed the circle of bit to the ground and spun on my heels for the fence.